I never thought I would be THAT kind of pregnant lady

December 3, 2013 at 1:12 pm 3 comments

 

I just realized I haven’t posted anything since our vacation to Tahiti which means I haven’t even mentioned on the blog that I’m expecting #4 in early January!

My attitude toward pregnancy and birth is much different than it used to be.  It all started when I decided I did not want a epidural this time.  That decision came because of Nathan and his continued education on what medications can do to you.  I also have women around me who have suffered one complication or another from their epidural and I figured I have been really lucky so far.  I would rather go through the pain of labor this time which is over in a few hours, than take on the severe headaches one of my friends had for over 6 months.

WSP_1950

I decided not to find out the gender

NEVER thought I would say that.  It was one of Nathan’s good friends who said, there are very few surprises in life so why take this one away?  I figured, he was right.

I decided midwives were not dangerous

Deciding not to be drugged opened the rabbit hole of seeing pregnancy and labor totally differently.  I watched “The Business of Being Born” on Netflix which changed my perspective on midwives completely. I used to think giving birth in a tub was disgusting and I thought birthing at home was dangerous.  In reality, if you are a low risk pregnancy, chances are there will be nothing the midwife can’t handle.  C-sections often occur because of interventions done in hospitals among other things.  After looking at the midwives in my area, there are VERY VERY few times when a woman needs to be transferred to the hospital and even then, sometimes it is because she decides she wants to be medicated.

Even the way a midwife talks you though  things is totally different.  She is there the whole time helping you relax, boosting confidence in yourself and your body.  She is a support and an advocate and is patient as she helps you get through what your body is doing all by itself, as opposed to a doctor who gets called in time to instruct you to push (often too hard and too much which is huge in encouraging tearing) then he catches and is gone.

That was a little harsh.  Doctors do great, they are smart and are very necessary and needed, especially in times of emergency and I do like my doctor. I appreciate their hard work and long hours.

Birthing at home does not appeal to me.  I like the excitement of being somewhere else for a while.  I REALLY REALLY wanted to  stay with my in-laws in Spokane for a bit and go to a birthing center there. However, because of it being January and bad roads, there are too many variables about Nathan getting there in time for the birth.  I would also have to stay there for the first week after because they do house calls during that time, so Nathan would miss the first week of his baby’s life and that is no good either.

Recently I got to the point where I was considering having it at home but the closest midwife is 45 minutes away.  So once again, with the roads and how fast I can have a baby, she might miss it.  So it is the hospital for me, where I know the nurses would rather I got an epidural, where I’m going to have to be on an IV and monitors.  I probably won’t get the relief of the shower and I will probably have to push laying flat on my back (which is the worst way to do it) .  On the bright side, I know that even laying on my back and guessing on how I should push if I could feel that I was pushing, I still get babies out in less than 1/2 hour.

I decided not to have an ultrasound

That makes me a complete weirdo.  Why you ask?

  •  It would cost us at the very least over $500 out of our pocket.
  • I have seen many more cases of the ultrasound being wrong about downs syndrome, birth weight, and other things than correct (I can think of three instances off the top of my head where downs was misdiagnosed and the baby was healthy, and two when they birth weight was completely wrong)
  • If there was something wrong, we couldn’t do anything anyway and it would be months of worry and stress until baby came out.
  • Babies have been born healthy forever without having an ultrasound.

So I saw it as a test that wasn’t very accurate that would cost over $500 to get.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t get a little nervous.  I had the Doctor take an unofficial look so we could see the heart had 4 chambers, the spine looked normal, and fingers and toes were all there.

I decided to get Hypbirth CD’s (BEST DECISION EVER)

Available here

Relaxing and learning how to let your body do it’s thing is really important.  I saw a few you tube video’s of women who use a hypnobirthing method and it was incredible how different it was from watching the unbearable cries on TLC’s “A Baby Story.” There was discomfort but you could see them relaxed and in control.  Most women who use a method like this say it was uncomfortable but not unbearable and would do it again.

I’ve been using them just a few nights and I am AMAZED how much more calm and happy I am, just by taking the time to relax and visualize. I am known for becoming stressed and depressed.  Especially at this point.  With Isaac I had pushed Nathan away and had come to the conclusion (only in my head) that my marriage was over.  Summer wasn’t those exact thoughts but happy days felt far far away.  Anything sets me off in the blink of an eye and I felt out of control and like a burden on my family.  I was going down that road the last few weeks and I wake up feeling totally different the last few days and I’m just on the first CD.  I didn’t realized how much of how I was acting was stress and I had no good way to cope with it.

I decided to do cloth diapers

More on this in another post, but it is still a huge jump in my thinking as opposed to my other kids.  Really this is the only reason I may have regrets sometimes about not finding out the gender.  I want to be prepared but I don’t want to get gender neutral diapers. (Boring!) So I will wait and order them from my phone while I’m laying around at the hospital haha

Being realistic

So we will see how this goes.  I may eat all my words and say “never again will I go without drugs” but I at least want to experience this in a totally different way than what I’ve always been told it should be.

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Entry filed under: Wendy's Posts.

…then comes marriage, then comes the baby… Nathan almost died

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Stephanie  |  December 3, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    You can do it! Seriously I had both my babies without pain medication (had to be induced or have labor augmented with both, so I can’t claim drug free). I really do wish more women could experience a natural labor because it is such an amazing experience. Emma was born in a hospital with a doctor, but the doctor and nurses were so supportive of me and helping me have as natural a labor as possible, it was almost like having a midwife, so a good hospital birth is possible. Seriously if you were closer to Colfax I would say you should have that precious baby at Whitman Hospital (best experience ever). I have also heard great things about hypnobirthing! Cloth is fun 🙂 Fluffy baby bums are the cutest. This blog post made me happy and excited for you, good luck!!

    Reply
  • 2. Dorese  |  December 3, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    I had Anna (our first) without drugs. She was out within 90 minutes of the doctor telling me I was in labor (at my 37 week checkup). We had planned to go without drugs, and had hired a doula to talk me through breathing and things. It was an incredible experience. I don’t plan to have any of our kids with drugs (for many, many reasons). I loved the feeling of empowerment. And it was painful, but not unbearable. Not anything like “A Baby Story”. And talk to your doctor about your wishes of moving freely around while you labor. Have a birth plan printed out when you go to the hospital. And really, if you’re worried about pressure from nurses, HIRE A DOULA. Ours was $200, but then SHE advocates for you with hospital staff. It took all the extra pressure off of me and Mark.

    Reply
  • 3. Kierstin  |  December 9, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    Awesome post! We are expecting our 4th in early March, and also have decided to not find out the gender. Only one thing I want to mention. A friend of mine did not want to pay for the ultrasound either, but felt prompted both by doctor and by the Spirit to get one done 4 weeks before her due date. Good thing she did, because they saw she had Placenta Previa. Baby would have had to be born C-section anyways, but it could have been bad if she’d started bleeding internally when labor started. And she was able to arrange for help since she knew a bit ahead of time.

    Reply

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